Good grief, so much to do. No one tells you that becoming a parent is all about *responsibility*. I kinda thought things would get easier once the baby was born, since Sharon would stop complaining about her knees hurting and it’d just be us and a very small human. A baby doesn’t even take up that much room! And their lungs are tiny, so everyone must’ve been exaggerating how loud they can be.
Oh how wrong a person can be. Here we are, seven years later, and somehow Lila is just as much effort as before. SOMEHOW. Yes, blah blah, I love her and all that, but wow.
Now she wants a birthday party, with her other seven-year-old friends, so there will be even more of them all gathered in the same place expecting to be entertained. Great, cool. Still, there are kids party venues for hire in Bentleigh East to deal with this sort of thing. I have no real party planning skills, and I’m a terrible entertainer. Just ask Lila. She was four years old when she fired me from bedtime stories because my reading wasn’t dramatic enough. I was served a written notice of being let go, albeit written in crayon with a lot of missing or added letters. I’m not exactly good at this stuff.
Still…clowns are still a thing, right? I also heard about this guy who does rap; he sounds like good fun. I’ve heard he’s very funky and educational. But mostly, I’m hoping that there are people at the party venue who know about this sort of thing- I mean, why wouldn’t there be?- and they can be the ones to take it off my hands. Lickety-split, that’s that, children all entertained, thanks to the very good services of whatever birthday party venues open in Melbourne I can find…in two days. Wow, time sure does fly. Better get a move on. After I file these taxes.
-Roy
Someone called me an ‘amateur clown’ recently. I suppose that sums it up pretty well. Always knew that styling myself as a birthday clown would be off-putting to some, but the title has been in my family for generations, so I wasn’t about to let it go. Besides, it’s all about the service. Word-of-mouth, reviews…that’s what it’s all about nowadays! That, and knowing your audience and community. I wouldn’t last long in the profession if I hadn’t mapped out each and every 
Another rainy day, and in the middle of summer! I’ve half a mind to write a strongly-worded letter to the council and complain. It will contain many very large and important-sounding words, all typed in capitals to express my anger. I’ve known for quite some time that the local council is the one who control the weather, of course. They try to hide it, but I went to a seminar a few years ago where a very trustworthy man with a lovely voice explained it all. Oh, there’s nothing 
Everyone knows that there are three gifts that are greater than anything else money can buy: gift cards (because they’re essentially money in a prettier form), dinosaur eggs (because they currently do not exist, not any more) and glass staircases. That last one DID surprise me, but actually, I can see the logic. Imagine descending the staircase on Christmas morning, only to find that instead of dull old wooden balustrades, they’ve been changed to glass. Simply magical.
Cutting my own hair worked for the last sixteen years. I guess it’s pretty uncommon to go thirty years without going to a hairdresser’s, but I guess at some point I just started to get a bit self-conscious. Maybe I just wanted to see how they’d do. Well, I’m definitely impressed.
Alright, I should probably jot down a few of my thoughts after the trip. Or type a few of my thoughts…same thing, really. I actually enjoyed China a lot more than I thought I would, which sounds terrible, but I was mostly worried about the language barrier. First time I’ve ever been to a country where they don’t primarily speak English, and I was freaking out over getting lost and literally not being able to talk to anyone.
Our prayers as of late have revealed many things. First off: avocados are soon to experience a slight drop in price, although lattes will be slightly more expensive, thus balancing the scales. America’s president will make a speech, and some people will be very happy while some are angry.
As loyal as I am to the glorious PC master race, I have to admit that playing Over-Botch is much more fun on console. The controls are more responsive, and of course the graphics are way better.
Okay, so as it turns out…setting up a business MIGHT be a little but more work than I was anticipating. I made a checklist and everything! And so many things have popped up that were NOT on the checklist! It’s almost as if I shouldn’t have bothered with the checklist in the first place. 
There’s something I’ve been looking into for a long time, and I’m getting extremely ready to commit, but the problem is, I still haven’t found the right solar energy company to go with. You see, I run a small business and we’ve made a commitment to our staff and our community that we’re going to employ more environmentally friendly measures. So far, we’ve introduced rigorous recycling policies and installed a filter in our tap to so that we no longer have to purchase bottled water, but I feel like we’re ready to take the next step and take much more drastic action. I’ve been looking into things, and from everything I’ve seen it seems like the next big step would be to install some form of