After so long, I’ve found the career for me. Architecture is all well and lovely, mathematics is perhaps too cerebral and not quite as creative, rocket science would be a nightmare to explain at parties and I’ve long given up on tutoring English and grammar because the world’s standards, even those in school have slipped to a point where I cannot abide discussing the issue with anyone else.
No, I think my expertise lies in finding homes that are being sold in a right state and making them right. I believe I have a gift for property styling that simply has not yet been unlocked, or unwrapped as the analogy goes. My room is beautifully laid on with a zen-like precision, and thus I feel like I need to take this talent and spread it out into Melbourne. Home staging offered for hopeless people. The industry is gaining steam as time progresses and people realise that they can’t simply put a rubbish dump up for sale and expect people to flock to it. There’s ‘pre-loved, in need of some TLC’ and the alternative, which is a home so poorly take care of that prospective buyers are likely to perform and heel-turn on the doorstep as soon as they glimpse the entrance hall. Folks are counting on people like me to come and sort out all my problems, which admittedly is how I spend most of my life. Plus I do relish the prospect of entering people’s homes and being allowed to judge them as part of my job. House staging experts must have such a time, throwing out sassy comments nestled in an air of professionalism. It’s like being a nosey, well-meaning neighbour, except your advice is actually useful, welcomed and you get paid for it. Is there a higher calling?
The Melbourne home staging industry needs me. I’m the interior designing sass-talker this city needs, and soon, everyone is going to know it.