I don’t know why Fernando won’t listen to me when I tell him that I broke the balustrade on the stairs! Normally I would have no problems throwing Gizmo under the bus, but he wasn’t even in the house at the time, so that hardly seems fair. Also, the documentary crew caught me breaking the balustrade on camera so there’s no point in denying it. They can’t show Fernando the footage until the documentary is over, which will be in about four years, but he would hate me when he did see it.

How many times do I have to say that I broke the stair balustrade before he believes me? He thinks I’m just covering for Gizmo, as if I would want to do that! I don’t care if Gizmo loses his position as the household familiar. We’ll just get another one. Probably one that is less sneaky and takes fewer holidays. Maybe I should just change my story and say that it was Gizmo’s fault. Fernando can’t see the footage for ages and by then he will have forgotten all about him. But that would be a truly evil thing to do. I would have to be some sort of twisted creature of darkness to pin it on him right after he has arranged for glass repair around Melbourne.

Oh, wait, I’m a vampire! I am a twisted creature of darkness, so that shouldn’t be a problem. I will blame Gizmo and get him kicked out. It’s a brilliant plan that won’t fail. Lazarus doesn’t like Gizmo either, so he will back me up. I just need to get Robin Collinson on my side. Is he willing to lie about the balustrade incident? He will probably say no just to get on my nerves and drain my energy, so I might have to use a fear tactic here. It may be the only way.

But then again, what if Fernando’s next familiar is even worse than Gizmo? It’s just so hard to decide what to do!

– Nadia