I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

anchor winches MelbourneThis was the day I became a meme. Specifically, the one with the dog who has no idea what he’s doing. You know…he’s got the camera, and he’s all adorable since he’s a cute dog with no idea how to operate human technology. Swap out the dog for me and put him in charge of a boat, and that was basically me.

Serves me right for getting a rich friend. Jeremy is a nice guy and all, but very clueless about how the ‘other side’ live. That’s why his parents sent him to the same uni as me, instead of…I don’t know, somewhere like Oxford. So now half my life is normal stuff, like going to the cinema, and then there are the ‘outings’. Boating, for instance. Except Jeremy doesn’t understand that us low-borns aren’t often given the opportunity to steer yachts all that often, so…hilarity ensued? Don’t ask me who services anchor winches in Melbourne either. I can tell you where to get a really good burger, maybe a nice cup of coffee (not, like, rich people coffee, but good by my lowly standards) but boat repairs? Yeah, best to just phone your butler and let him take things from there.

The weirdest thing was how Jeremy seemed to think me smacking the boat into the pier and tearing up the boards. Or at least, it was weird until I realised he’s rich, his family is rich and this is the equivalent of dropping a hotdog on the floor. Must be nice, eh? They definitely know where to find outboard motor servicing and such, so it wasn’t so much of a problem. Plus I made it very clear that I shouldn’t be taking the controls of an expensive yacht, both before and afterwards. On the plus side, now know where in Melbourne you get outboard motor servicing. I am never going to use this information, ever.