Death on a Cruiseship

SFuneralso, despite the fact that I spent all the money I’ve saved up from day dot to go on a cruise with old people, everything has gone pretty great until today. That’s right, people, you can be young and go on a cruise! I don’t want to go backpacking in some dirty hostel somewhere with fleas and unwashed people, I didn’t want to go to schoolies so I can drink illegally because I would have been underage. I wanted to wait until mid December and go on a cruise around the Pacific Islands. Okay, maybe I hadn’t realised that there would basically only be old people here (apart from me and Liz) but we can still tear it up and enjoy the sunshine. It’s fun drinking margaritas and flirting with poolboys (although old men flirting with us and that’s, like, super icky).

To be honest, apart from seeing them everywhere, all the old people hardly made any difference to the trip at all. That was, until today at least. This morning we got called downstairs and one of the staff members told us Magerie and her husband Derek, this super sweet old couple travelling together, had passed away at about the same time during the night. I know right! What a shocker! I half expected someone to go DUN DUN DUUUUNN in the background, but no one did. It was actually really sweet, like the Notebook or something, and apparently this happens like all the time. The guy told us their funeral home’s in Perth and the family wanted to get the body back there. So now there’s like two dead bodies on the ship somewhere. How creepy is that? Me and Liz were super tempted to go looking for them, but Jorge wouldn’t even give us any clues about where they were. I’ve never seen a dead body, and I reckon it would be pretty cool but Liz was a little freaked out about the whole thing, so I let it go.

Anyway, I get that the family wanted to have their funerals in Perth, but I reckon it’d be fun to have them here. Add a little excitement to our lives. I guess I’m just morbid like that.