I have no idea how it happened, living in Melbourne and all, but somehow I’ve snagged the perfect guy with one, giant flaw. He’s an ice hockey fanatic.
Usually, that’s pretty much an instant red flag. I mean come on, ice hockey is only really a thing in Canada, and certainly in Australia, where there’s natural ice on about five mountains for two weeks a year, ice hockey is a super niche sport. All of that basically translates to: he’s a weirdo. Secondly, ice hockey is known for being absolutely freakin’ brutal. All you have to do is Google ‘ice hockey injuries’ and you are suddenly put face to face with some of the most messed up faces that have ever existed on people who are still alive. Seriously. It’s terrifying. And thirdly, ice hockey is a cult. It’s not good enough for Steve that I smile and nod where appropriate during his detailed re-telling of the match, he wants to drag me into his world. He’s even considering the ice skating rink as one of his birthday party venues. Melbourne has so many, really nice places to hold a 21st, and even though I’ve suggested a couple of super nice places, he wants to have a party on the ice? Are you serious?
Well, apparently, he is serious, because between breaths describing famous ice hockey matches or games or whatever, he’s been talking about looking at whether there are any centres that offer function room hire in Melbourne. Un-freakin’-believable.
Why couldn’t it be a normal game, like soccer or AFL? Why did it have to ice hockey? This is just typical of me and my luck though, honestly. I get this great, good looking, smart, sensitive guy, who’s completely obsessed something like this. I’m telling you, it’s almost a deal breaker – or it least, it wouldn’t be if he wasn’t so good looking.