Every year I watch the Grouchies, and it’s always the same movies that win: sentimental period pieces and anything based on a true story with lots of sad piano music and sad actor faces. So basically, not what anyone actually wants to watch and have fun. I swear, they’re so formulaic even a computer algorithm could predict what’s going to win. Heck, a computer algorithm could write these movies and they’d still win all the Grouchies.
At least…I’m hoping so. I’ve made a bet with my friend, who thinks because he’s doing some fancy software development course around Melbourne somewhere that he knows everything about computers. He also really likes soulful period-pieces and movies about true stories, so this is a personal thing. And I’ve done computer courses. Like, I did that one course a couple of years ago on how to fix a broken computer screen and replace parts, and one a few years back on proper graphic design basics. Okay, so I’m not the most well-equipped, but I definitely have determination, and also $100 on the line that I’d really prefer not to give away.
So if I was doing software development…what would I do? Probably start developing some software. I know a bit of that from my old school days, back when we had to make basic websites and programmes that did basically nothing. There was one module on software development, and I got a pretty good score. What I need to do now is find some kind of algorithm. Note down all the things that Grouchy-winning movies have, and somehow insert that into a bit of software. Maybe I can get advice from people actually doing a software development course, so that my victory is a little bit ironic. All I need is…so much. I need so much stuff. This was a stupid bet.
I went overseas to open my eyes and broaden my horizons. You know, how you’re supposed to when you’re in your early twenties and feeling single and…ready to mingle? I mean mingle with other cultures, obviously. So I took a trip to Albajeria. Interesting place. On my first day at the hotel, I was offered a local delicacy: a squid ink sundae. That was just the start of a chain of weird experiences…though nothing managed to trump the squid ink sundae, fortunately. And to think, all of this was caused by an IT course. Melbourne has actually never felt more like home.
Oh, go and do some real work experience in another country, the posters said! You’ll love it and gain valuable insight, they said! I guess I gained valuable insight and experience in work. The whole reason the trip was organised was because my Mum’s relatives (who I have never met) were trying to set up a business in the capital city, and they needed an IT expert. I’m not exactly that, strictly speaking…I mean, I’m still studying. But they heard ‘IT course’ and apparently they were clamouring to get me over and help out. Well, I got to meet my family, which is…nice. They’re interesting people. People who knew nothing about computers, so I basically got IT experience by setting up their entire cash management system, installing their security cameras and even doing a bit of web development, which is not my area but I still knew more about it than the guy making their website. All the while, I sampled their country’s delicacies.
I actually did go on a camping trip with some Aussie students up to the mountains, and that was five days of incredible scenery and fascinating culture. Also, none of them needed someone doing an IT course, because they were monks who didn’t need electricity. I’m really starting to think that they had the right idea about things.