Evil No More

Hello, and welcome back to our semi-live account of the epic battle between Space Wizard and Sewer Wizard. I’m Tybalt Way. Let’s jump straight back into it. I want to see how this ends! 

Sewer Wizard has decided to fight dirty, drawing a knife, and it seems there is nothing Space Wizard can do to stop him. Is this the end of our space friend and ally? It seems so.

And out of nowhere comes a bolt, striking Sewer Wizard in the shoulder. Where did it come from? Oh my! It seems Bandit has abandoned his post to help Jack Zebraman escape the destroyed ballista. Together, they’ve built the world’s largest crossbow out of the destroyed parts and used it to hit Sewer Wizard! What a team they make. Surely they would have held their own among the best office fitout firms Melbourne has to offer, if only Sewer Wizard had not destroyed the set of Australia’s Next Top Office

The force of the bolt has knocked Sewer Wizard back. Before he can stand, Ms Frankie blasts him with an intense stream of water, keeping him down. Now Space Wizard is leaping forward, putting his hand on Sewer Wizard’s head. All is quiet for a moment, before light bursts between the two wizards.

What is going on? It seems Space Wizard is attempting to absorb Sewer Wizard into himself. That makes sense since Sewer Wizard is just the darker half of his liquified form. Will this really work? Will they restore balance, right here in the centre of commercial design for Melbourne offices? Here, where Next Top Office took the world by storm, becoming the most popular show on Not Flicks before its abrupt cancellation?

The two wizards are covered in light, shaking like there’s an earthquake here. We all watch on with bated breath. Bandit, Ms Frankie and Jack Zebraman don’t move a muscle.

And in a blinding flash, it appears to be over. Now Space Wizard stands alone. Sewer Wizard is nowhere to be seen. Are they one entity again?

Space Wizard looks up for a moment. He nods to each of his friends. Then he mutters an incantation, waves his hands, and disappears.

It seems the day has been saved. But at what cost?

The Greatest of Office Designers

office designAnd my parents said that a degree on commercial office design was a waste of time! Well, they said the same thing about my entire existence, and look how THAT turned out. That’s right: probably correct for most of my life. But now I have a degree, and I’m going to be the very best office designer Melbourne has ever seen. All I have right now is the degree, because it’s a seriously cut-throat industry that’s hard to break into, but one day everyone will know my name. You won’t be able to walk into an office in Melbourne without seeing my design stamp upon it, both in a metaphorical sense (I’m thinking of combining art-deco with neo-Grecian architecture, for a truly distinctive style) and also, in real life. As in, when I design an office, I’ll put my logo on it somewhere. Not in a really obvious way, just like…always there, so people don’t forget that it was me who made them this wonderful, open-plan space that they are currently enjoying. I’ll have to put that in the contract or something otherwise I’m not sure if businesses will go for it.

Ideally, I’m thinking that I have to join one of the many guilds that exist within the world of Melbourne office design. As I said, it’s quite a serious industry, filled with serious business, and you can’t just start designing offices willy-nilly. You find a mentor who’ll teach you the secret ways, and also help you to survive amongst all the other young, up-and-coming office designers who’ll almost certainly be trying to trip you up, and maybe secretly assassinate you if you have enough skill. I suppose that’s how you know for sure if you have the special x-factor to join the industry of Melbourne’s best office fitouts. Not only have you survived multiple assassination attempts, but you also excel at desk placement, and the best window locations for natural light. Unless there’s skylight potential. PRO-TIPS.

-Larissa